Time for a pause,
It has been a while since the last blog post was done. There are a couple of reasons for this, 1 all the reliving of things has caused enough mental drain that time away is needed. 2 sometimes when the mental drain gets to be enough it is hard to formulate the words to tell the story.
I will use this short post to talk about some of the struggles. Lately, things have just not been very encouraging.
As you will hear later on in the story this time of year is rough in general. It is next to impossible not to remember those who can not be with their family because they were taken from us. Just as much the question continues to ring of why it is fair for me to be with my family while they are not. I try very hard not to fall into the poor me phase of things very often, but this time of year is tough. In the future, you will also learn that this time of year was not a good one in my experiences and the memories and the scenarios still play out just like they were yesterday.
Another reason for the break is directly related to the fighting the poor me mentality. Let’s face it the world is not fair and things will most often not go your way. Lately, we have been on a trend of everything going the wrong direction.
In the efforts of positive thinking the goal is to just take a step back and seek out the good things, the unfortunate part is those good things just seem so far away. The true feelings come out where we question why it is we continue to make so much effort to help support and gift others yet we can not ever find the same done for us. It is not truly a case of we “expect” but when the chips are down like they are now one always hopes that their good deeds and supportive nature will circle back.
How does this translate to PTSD, when your down and out struggle like now create internal question? Are the things I did when I was over there the punishment I am seeing now. Why must my family struggle because of what I was forced to do?
Add together all of this and it is a miserable recipe for one’s psyche.
So just in case someone reads these, therefore, the break. There are lots more specifics and I still am deciding if I want to air my grievances on this platform.
I hope to regroup over the holiday and get back at it!!